


Of solitaire and alcoholics

by RandomProjectedTrashCutie



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Solitaire - Freeform, The Void, i wanted to write something kinda light hearted after the nightmare that is canon so voila, i wrote this in 20 minutes, no beta we die like all three characters in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 00:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30030522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomProjectedTrashCutie/pseuds/RandomProjectedTrashCutie
Summary: Wilbur and schlatt argue for 10 minutes and a dead kid crashes their party. That's it that's the fic
Relationships: none ya nasties
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	Of solitaire and alcoholics

"Schlatt. Your turn. Fucking go already" Wilbur groaned in annoyance.

"Uhhhh go fish, I don't know" 

"What the fuck do you mean go fish we're playing fucking solitaire" Wilbur exclaimed incredulously, staring at Schlatt.

"Well how the fuck was I supposed to know that?" Schlatt argued, throwing his cards down.

"I fucking told you didn't I?" 

"Maybe you didn't tell me enough!" Schlatt grumbled, before putting his hand on his chest and wheezing. "Something's been off all day, 's not my fault Wilbur. Hard to focus when your heart keeps jumping and shit in your chest." Wilbur paused at that, before looking up.

"Something has been off all day. Thought it was just me. What sorry sod do you thinks dying today?" Schaltt shrugged. 

"I don't know and I don't care," he said before taking a swig of his bottle 

"You and your fucking drinking." Wilbur said, shaking his head.

"You and your fucking solitaire." Schlatt retorted, taking another swig. "What's my drinking gonna do, kill me again?" Wilbur rolled his eyes. 

"Wish it fucking would" he muttered under his breath, before standing up. "I'm going to check on the poor bastard who died since all you want to do is drink and disrespect solitaire."

"Wilbur. Your game's fucking stupid. Just admit it" Schlatt called out to him. Wilbur just stuck his middle finger up as he stood up and stretched. 

"We taking bets on who died again?" 

"What do you have to bet?" Wilbur asked, side eyeing Schlatt. 

"How about this, you shut the fuck up about solitaire if I get it right, and I'll stop drinking for like a week if you get it right."

"You're incorrigible when you don't drink." Wilbur sneered at him. "Besides I'm not giving up my fucking solitaire. It's the only thing keeping me sane down here."

"Oh so you complain when I drink then complain when I say I won't, make up your fucking mind Soot" Schlatt rolled his eyes. "And you're already insane, I don't think solitaires any substitute for therapy." 

"Do you ever shut the fuck up?"

"No. We've been over this. Anyway bet or no bet the dead person's probably fucking Quackity or something."

"What makes you say that?"

"Dumbass tried to fight Technoblade and lost to an iron pickaxe. If anyone's stupid enough to make the same mistake again its him."

"Quackity's smarter than you think Schlatt. I think it's going to be Dream finally."

"And what on Earth makes you say that? They're keeping him alive aren't they? To bring you back?" Wilbur snorted.

"Nobody wants me back, and if they do, they're all idiots. This one's big. I can feel it." Wilbur said, putting a hand over his chest wound. "And I know you can feel it too. We've been waiting a long time for this death." 

"You just want to beat that green bastard into the ground yourself. Not that I blame you. I wouldn't mind giving him a nice punch right in his face. Pretentious bastard."

"Your the one who sided with him."

"I did what I had to to try and win."

"And yet you still tragically lost." Wilbur shook his head.

"Oh fuck off and check who died you motherfucker" Schlatt groaned, throwing his bottle at Wilbur's head.

"You're a bastard, did you know that?"

"As a matter of fact I did because you tell me every day" Schlatt said, fixing Wilbur with a deadpan expression. Wilbur just groaned and walked off. "Yeah thats right, fuck right off." Schlatt called out after him. Wilbur stuck his middle figure up at him and kept walking. He headed off to the 'landing area' as the two of them had dubbed it, where new souls would come after dying. 

"Hello?" Wilbur called out. He couldn't see anyone but he could feel something was different. "We're not going to hurt you, blah blah blah all of that jazz. As you probably know by now, you're dead, so why don't you make it easier on all of us and just come out so we don't have to look for you because let's be honest for a second, we don't care." Wilbur finished, sarcastically looking around.

"Wow Soot way to welcome them into the afterlife." Schlatt called out, walking towards him. Wilbur rolled his eyes again.

"Hello? Who died? C'mon don't keep me waiting i have competitive solitaire to get back to." 

"I'm dead?" A small voice called out from their left. "I-I'm really dead?"

"...Tommy?"

"Wilby?"

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on tumblr @ randomprojectedtrashcutie,,,,if you followed me for my sanders sides fic im so sorry i promise im trying to finish it a lots been happening,,,,,as always correct my grammer in the comments and thanks for reading! :D


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